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SI #5
Stalkers yearn obsessively for the apple of their eye, going to great lengths to be with them at all costs. But what if it’s you stalking your ideal self? In this piece, I utilized a limited color palette of blues and black to command attention towards the light sources, which are near the posters and computer screen of the ideal me. I intentionally drew myself with an unrecognizable face to show how I can’t see myself for who I am - I am obsessed with the ideal persona I put out towards the world. The ideal selves are drawn in a cartoonish style to emphasize how unreal they are, in contrast to the stalker me that’s rendered realistically.
Experimentation
Notes 1/8/24
What I'm trying to communicate:
Here, I want to communicate the feeling of being obsessed with this idealized, perfect version that you put yourself out there to people. You're obsessed with it to the point where you lose your identity because you're obsessing with being this type of person that's not really you.
Artist Research:
There was this one movie I watched over winter break and it is called Perfect Blue. I am inspired by the artists for that film because the eery aesthetics in it is what I want to capture in this piece. It also relates heavily to my piece because it's about an actor trying to get away from this idealized version of herself while also having a stalker. I think the metaphors and images it uses to portray the feeling of idealization and obsession perfectly.
Materials Exploration:
I'm going to use alcohol markers and maybe fine liners due to how a lot of this relates heavily to a digital world, which is often graphic designed, flat, and clean. I wanted to use the alcohol markers to create seamless and clean coloring while also providing cartoon like shading and textures to make it feel like it came from right out of an animated film. More specifically a 90's anime film.
Ideation:
People often think about obsession with celebrities through their stalkers. However I wanted to take a spin on that and make myself be the stalker instead, because isn't nearly every celebrity obsessed with keeping up this image of themselves and obsessed over every detail that might ruin this image? To the point that they can't separate themselves from this person they portray. I am not saying I am a celebrity, but I can understand sort of the same feelings. I'm in the chair as a stalker, with posters and merchandise of this idealized version of me everywhere in my room, while I'm at my computer that's themed with this idealized version of myself.
Technical exploration:
This is going to be similar to my SI#8, but deterring from the graphic kind of feel and leaning more towards coming from a film so it's going to look a little messier and more emphasis on textures. However, I wanted to use the fine liners to create texture that adds this eery feel to the piece. I also wanted to use a lot of vibrant pink and blues and blend them in with the rest of the piece.